Thank goodness for good parents!

As a teenager I dreamed of the day I could move away from home. I was so anxious to not have to listen to my parents and live by their strict rules. I was an ornery teenager. I'll have you know that my day of freedom came. Mom took me down to Provo in the little hatchback, stuffed with my belongings. We dropped them by an apartment we'd arranged for me to move into previously during my spring break my senior year in high school. (they wanted me out as quickly as I thought I wanted out apparently) I was four days out of my high school graduation. I was not feeling so brave as the reality of being on my own really was becoming reality. I remember that once we dumped my things off into the shared room of the dumpy apartment, mom and I began the task of job hunting. I really, really, really dislike job hunting. I always have felt that job hunting you must sell yourself. I've not got a lick of salesman in me at all. So I am very intimidated by job hunting to this day. This lack of confidence guarantees my employers that I will not be leaving the company anytime soon. As an 18 year old kid I had experience as a golf course groundskeeper, baby sitting and making hamburgers and french fries. Mom took me to a rest home to apply on this day. Thanks to her, I did know how to clean a toilet, though I certainly didn't want to make a career out of it! I believe this rest home was the last application I put in that day and my mood had very much soured and I certainly was no picnic to be around. Strangely, I was scared for the day to end though because that meant that I would really have my full independence. Mom took me to the Food 4 Less up the street from my new apartment and we loaded up on hot dogs, mac and cheese and roman noodles. Mom left me with a hug and I was left with the duty of putting away my first groceries. I was horrified of independence. I was relieved when the phone rang and it was my oldest brother who lived in Orem at the time. He invited me to spend the night at his house and then he'd show me the ropes of life in Provo the next morning. I was so happy to spend not have to spend my first night without family. Odd that I spent so much time dreaming about this moment and when it came, I was happy to sleep under my brother's roof and cry myself asleep at the lament of time passed, never to be relived.

Time has passed since those days. I no longer live close enough to either brother to sleep under either one's roof. I love my own bed. I think I have hot dogs in the freezer that are freezer burned. I don't have any mac and cheese in my food supply. I got over my fear of the nursing home residence and can be found volunteering once a month to help in church services at a local nursing home. I found out years later that when mom hugged me, and left me on my own, she drove to my brother's home and cried. She too lamented over times passed, never to lived again. My independence marked her empty nest. Mom and dad have really enjoyed their empty nest and it's always welcoming to their children. As they are now many miles away, constant contact through email and phone calls keeps that wonderful bond of love alive.

I am the youngest and the only girl. I know that it would bring them great joy if I could find a lovely man to marry and live my life with. I must be very grateful that they are not constantly making me feel guilty for not being married at 37. I think they know me well enough to know that I am searching and will make wise choices as I seek out that companion in life. They patiently listen as I do tell them of my experiences and frustrations. Dad commented that I needed to publish a book that had everything I was looking for from a perspective gentleman. I told him such book was impossible to write because my requirements would vary depending on the guy. Thank goodness mom understood this and was on my side. I tried to explain to him each personality was different and what I might require of one guy, might not work coming from another guy. He didn't get it and commented that men and women are just too different! Amen! Thank you Dad, exactly what I've been saying for years! Even in his blissful marriage dad sits and listens to mom and I chatter on and certainly doesn't "get it". I had to chuckle to hear dad finally voice my same frustration of the nearly impossible task to really connect between men and women on the level that makes marriage possible. I obviously don't get it yet. I've had several guys lately who have been interested and sadly, I just don't return the interest. I really do not take any pleasure in hurting others, and so it's the worst feeling to have to turn a guy away who comes with hopes of a future with me. I've been blessed in my associations to be surrounded by honorable men and women. I'm surrounded by good single men and women simply seeking with pure hearts for that match, that link of compatibility...

I'm just grateful to good parents who support me and listen with patience. I do worry when they tell me they have met someone looking for a wife in the mission field... usually it's a 70 year old man who is lonely and looking for a wife for companionship. I don't think I should let my parents set me up any time soon, what do you think! Thankfully they are not serious. They place full trust in me in finding my own special someone, that might be a mistake if they ever want to see me married! I think they want to see if when I do get married it will be as simple as I keep saying I want it. I keep telling them the day I make it to my wedding, it need only be a nice wedding in and LDS Temple with only the closest friends/family. We then are changing into jeans and tee shirts and firing up the grill for a lovely dinner with friends and family, nothing big, just a simple celebration. Of course, my friend recently told me if he gets a wedding announcement in the mail from me, he's packing up for the 2nd Coming! Have I mentioned I've been blessed with such good friends?

I have been blessed in life and in my purest moments, I see the blessings I truly have and am full of gratitude.