Graduation

October 20, 2013 I had to come to terms with the painful "goodbye" of a dear friend. We met years ago in an LDS singles church group and later became friends and roommates. Sherri Lynn Bond would become one of my quiet friends who was always a rock that I leaned upon. We did not talk every day, nor every week, but not a month would go by when we didn't have some form of communication. She was always at the top of my lists when I would decide to throw a dinner party and was making my list of invitees. While we were roommates, she shared her family with me. I was invited to Sunday dinners and sat at their family table. I got to meet her grandfather and came to love his sweet personality. I knew where the good traits in her family came from as I observed the generations of gentle hands, and kind hearts. I played games with the family as if I was one of the family. I watched her siblings' families grow and Sherri basked in being the proud Aunt. My strongest memories are those in which were spent one on one in long conversations. She was one who I often vented to about my trials. I could talk to her through anger, through tears, through joy and she listened. She didn't often try to "fix" my problems. She simply listened and gave me support. She didn't pretend to have answers to my problems, she simply supplied empathy for my feelings. I found that kind of support so comforting. Sometimes the roles would reverse and she would unload her trials upon me. I listen, but I often give advice to which I have no idea if it's good advice or not, but I felt good that she trusted me as a friend to talk to me, even if I could do nothing to help her situation. She was a kind and gentle hearted individual.

As fall came upon us this year, my friend Stacy, reminded me that is was the season for our annual Pumpkin Stew Dinner. I had inadvertently formed a tradition with Stacy and Sherri. Every fall when the pumpkins begin coming out for Halloween, I pick out a large one, carve it out, fill it with stew fixings and bake it in the oven, then invite Sherri and Stacy for dinner! Sherri introduced me to Stacy many years ago and I've been blessed because of my association with such great women. Through text messaging, we ironed out a weekend to get together for our stew night. October 19th, 2013. Sherri had worked that day. I'm sure she was tired from working a full week and she was still so gracious to open her cute home to her friends to host dinner. It was nothing fancy, we ate, talked, laughed and recharged by being around good friends who build you up and enlighten your life. I love my close friends for their support and ability to constantly inspire and uplift me to be a better person in my life.

Stacy bid farewell early that evening with commitments in her busy life. I figured Sherri would be tired and look forward to an early end to the evening and was going to follow Stacy out the door. Sherri seemed surprised that I was leaving early and especially without partaking of the Blue Bunny Oreo ice cream she had purchased for dessert. Well, who can turn down ice cream with a dear friend. She dished up a perfect serving and we settled in to enjoy one of our long conversations where we simply talked about life. She shared with me her current concerns and I found that she already had a plan of attack to make changes in her life to improve a difficult work situation. I was supportive and felt proud of how strong she was and how she was handling life and the many difficult challenges it had thrown at her. Sometimes when I leave my friends after hearing their burdens, I walk away feeling helpless and uneasy for them because their lives are so challenging. When I finally drove away that evening I felt at peace for her. Ironically that was a motto for her life "Pray for Peace". She had picked that up from our former roommate Becky, who used to say that phrase whenever she was humorously trying to face silly challenges in life. It was often shared with humor, but a constant reminder that we can truly pray for peace from a loving Heavenly Father and we can feel peace even in very difficult times in our lives. Why? Because we are His children and He loves us far more than we can ever imagine. I felt at peace for my friend Sherri when I drove away late that evening. I was grateful to have a good friend like her and I love the long conversations I always had with her.

I would not know that the evening would be my last with her. Still even now I know what a blessing it was to have had that little gift of time with her, my favorite kind of time with her. We had plans on the following day to have dinner at her parent's home, just like old times, and then head off to an LDS singles fireside that we needed each other's support to attend. The following day, I got a text message from her letting me know she was canceling our plans and that she was sorry. I was not offended and it didn't bother me that she had to back out. We were good enough friends, that you didn't have to explain yourself if you needed to back out of something. To set her mind at ease, I let her know I was cool with it, I would enjoy not having to stay in my Sunday clothes and get laundry done that had piled up. She text me back joking that it was sad when we actually get excited about doing laundry, but then she closed with "Thanks for being a treasured friend". Those were her parting words to me. Within hours I would get a phone call from another close mutual friend who had also intended to attend the same singles fireside. I knew from the way she cried out my name when I picked up the phone that something horribly was wrong. She then informed me with a broken heart that our dear friend was gone. I am still trying to comprehend that she is gone and that I will no longer enjoy those long conversations and enjoy her humor, her smile, her laugh, her support. I raced to be with my friend and Sherri's family, who I felt close to because Sherri had invited me into the inner circle of her family through our friendship. As we sat in Sherri's home that evening, trying to comprehend how we would deal with our tremendous loss, we all felt such love, peace and happiness in her home! I knew without a doubt that those were the feelings Sherri was feeling as she was freed from the burdens of this physical life here on earth. We talked and we knew she'd been prepared by her Father in Heaven to leave this life at that time. She had finished her work here and now surely had much to do on the other side, doing what she loved most, the Lord's work. Helping others. Uplifting others. As the week passed, and her funeral was approaching, stories were shared in remembering a dear friend, sister and daughter. Nearly all who knew her realized that they only knew a small part of her. She was quiet. She didn't like to be the center of attention, in fact she hated it. Yet, she managed to spend her life serving others without anyone knowing just how dedicated she was to serving and blessing other's lives. We all knew on an individual basis of how much she helped us, but I myself was blown away that she chose me as a friend. She was absolutely more amazing then I could have imagined because of the ways she lived her life! She spend as much effort as she could in serving and loving others. She placed her needs often behind that of others. How many times did I drone on about my life while she quietly suffered her own trials, but still had strength to make me smile and inspire me to push forward in my life? Sherri is still very much missed. I have my moments when I still cry myself to sleep as I ache to talk to her again. I get bummed when I think of all the things I looked forward to doing with her and no longer can. Yet, I turn to her example and have let it change me. I thank her for inspiring me through her quiet example. Her friends will gather often with her sister and mother, as Sherri often did, and support them now, where Sherri can't as she has work to do, going about her Father's business. Thank you friend. Until we meet again...