Lessons from the past

When I graduated from high school, mom drove me down to Provo where I would live. I already had an apartment lined up. Mom and I spent half of the day job hunting for me. For anyone who knows me, I really get in a foul mood when I job hunt. It's not something that I enjoy and I don't feel confident about doing. Being forced to so it immediately puts me in a very bad mood. Mom called a halt to our job hunting finally. I can only imagine she had her own frustrations at her daughter dragging her feet and not being more positive about this new life I was embarking upon. She took me to Food 4 Less and I purchased hot dogs, roman noodles and mac 'n cheese to start me out. She dropped me off at my apartment and gave me a hug then drove away. I was left to myself to put away my newly acquired food and soak in independence. I went from feeling frustrated to feeling scared. I knew I wanted independence, but it was scarier than I thought. Within hours my oldest brother called from and asked if I wanted him to come pick me up so I could spend my first night with he and his wife in Orem, then in the morning he'd show me how to get around on the public bus system. I was gladly accepted his offer and spent my first night at his home. I cried myself to sleep.

Years later I would find out that when mom left me, she promptly drove to my brother's home and had a good cry. I was her baby and the last to leave the nest. I felt better somehow knowing it was a hard separation for her as well.

I'd like to liken this experience to that of our spiritual experience. We once lived with our loving Heavenly Father. We desired to learn, to be independent so to speak. We left His presence to come to earth to gain our own experiences. We get caught up in the tasks that this life demands of us and so many times we find ourselves feeling unloved and forgotten about. It's not true though. We are far from home, but like my mom, she still loves me today. I also have an older brother, Christ, like my older brother, he is there to guide me, and comfort me while I'm away from the presence of my Father in Heaven. It's remembering this reawakens those feelings of gratitude and peace I have feeling such wonderful love. I encourage you, if you are feeling alone and down, seek and desire to feel that love again. Get down on your knees and pray. Look around you at the beauty of this earth and all it provides. The Father's love is all around us when we are looking for it. What a great comfort and confidence booster it is to my spirit when I realize just how blessed I am. I am grateful for my family here on earth for constantly loving me and reminding me of the bigger picture.